self-belief and desire

In the context of pursuing a creative career as an artist, sometimes we might feel super inspired, momentum builds, and we just flow. Other times, (I know I can feel this), we might forget where we are going, and feel a little uninspired. But, what is the reason for this? How can motivation exist one minute, and seemingly evaporate the next? I thought I would attempt to consciously observe what happens in my experience...

So, for example, I feel inspired; I've got heaps of visual ideas waiting to become physical artworks, and I feel excited imagining where they'll be exhibited and who might resonate with them. Then, the inspiration dissipates and it feels like I have no control over it. I forget my clear sense of purpose and feel like my head is foggy, and I'm dragging my heels through the mud. But this time, after closer inspection, I noticed that thoughts, filled with self-doubt, were quietly creeping in underneath that inspired feeling. The thing is, self-doubt isn't always a loud domineering voice that you can hear clearly, not for me anyway. It can be muted, almost a whisper that can be easily missed as it is surreptitiously swept under the rug.

So, when I'm in the midst of inspired action, these whispers are quietly, but consistently, whispering things like: "Hmm, large artworks are a nightmare to package, what if they end up stuck in the studio? Remember that gallery that rejected your work? Maybe you should be doing more conceptual pieces if you want to be taken seriously as an artist?...” Suddenly, or perhaps not so suddenly, the inspiration is dampened.
After this observation, I realised how often I don't pay conscious attention to these quiet, fast-moving, somewhat automatic thoughts. Instead, my body subconsciously absorbs them, consequently resulting in physical and mental lethargy and an overall lacklustre feeling devoid of inspiration.

I guess it makes sense; when I feel uninspired, thoughts that are in opposition to my desires permeate my mind. They put the breaks on and warn me that I might fail to fulfil my desires. The music fades and my body is heavy. I can no longer dance. Noticing this process is helpful, but I think it takes practice to watch and observe your thoughts. I guess the goal is not to stop them, but to consciously, and gently, catch them before they sink in deeply, and perhaps challenge them with alternative thoughts that better align with your desires.

For example, my desire is to exhibit large pieces of artwork in a well-known gallery. The opposing thought could be ‘I’ll be rejected.’ My gentle challenge could be that there are many places to exhibit, limitless in fact, and even if not immediately, everything sells to the right person at the right time. I have evidence of that. Trust.
So, perhaps I can begin to catch self-doubt as it arises and attempt to offer alternative thoughts that begin to sing a song of self-belief.